HELLO Blogging world. We haven't spoken in awhile!
This blog was the my first tool for dealing with hard things. I hope that it will continue to help me find peace. The past 24 hours has been emotional, to say the least. One of my good friends told me that they are getting a divorce. It broke my heart. I know what it's like to be alone. I know that there are people around, however, they need to have good, happy, healthy, relationships too. I just unable to provide such support. I know what pain is, I have been emerged in the depths of misery. I pray often that no one will have to suffer as I have suffered. I pray that peace will come, by doing and being what makes you happy.
I know prayers are answered. I know that my Savior loves me. That is why I am still here. Why I continue to find new holes that need mending, in my heart. Christ is helping me progress, and find the little things to be grateful for.
I only pray that if I have hurt anyone, as Preston hurt me, that those wounds will heal too. That a friendship will grow back, and that understanding will come. I still don't understand all that God has in store, but I know the guidance he as given me. Hope has never taken my pain away, it has only enabled me to push forward.
Release
The function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought.
Friday, July 3, 2015
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
A Tad Stressed
The semester is coming to a close and I still have a lot to get done before this following week is done. I am trying to keep cool. Pray for me.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Living the Dream......Can't Come Soon Enough!
When I grow old I want to raise chickens and goats. First off because who doesn't want fresh eggs and goat's milk everyday? Second, have you ever seen a baby goat. Probably the cutest animal ever! And it's true they really do frolic!
You should also know that I am addicted to goats milk! I am constantly craving it now. YUM!!! I LOVE ME SOME SATURATED FAT!
The reason I want to do this when my children are all gone and grown is because by that point. I won't care if the saturated fat sticks to my body, I will be gone in a couple of years anyway.
Besides having fresh milk is loads better for you.
I have decided that if all of my dream fantasies of living on a farm when I grow old really do come true. I will make fresh homemade bread every week. That way I am guaranteed to live like a Queen, eating the best food in the whole world!!
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Strengths Finders
This past semester I had to take a Strengths Finder Test. I got a promo code my buying the textbook. The results were surprisingly perfectly accurate.Below are my Signature Themes — my five most dominant themes of talent, ranked in the order revealed by my responses to the Clifton StrengthsFinder.
As you may know, the Clifton StrengthsFinder measures the 34 themes of talent determined by The Gallup Organization as those that most consistently predict outstanding performance. The greater the presence of a theme of talent within a person, the more likely that person is to spontaneously exhibit those talents in day-to-day behaviors.
Focusing on natural talents helps people build them into strengths, and enjoy personal, academic, and career success through consistent, near-perfect performance.
As you may know, the Clifton StrengthsFinder measures the 34 themes of talent determined by The Gallup Organization as those that most consistently predict outstanding performance. The greater the presence of a theme of talent within a person, the more likely that person is to spontaneously exhibit those talents in day-to-day behaviors.
Focusing on natural talents helps people build them into strengths, and enjoy personal, academic, and career success through consistent, near-perfect performance.
Empathy
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person’s perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person’s predicament—this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings—to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
Input
You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.
Positivity
You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your Positivity won’t allow it. Somehow you can’t quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one’s sense of humor.
Activator
“When can we start?” This is a recurring question in your life. You are impatient for action. You may concede that analysis has its uses or that debate and discussion can occasionally yield some valuable insights, but deep down you know that only action is real. Only action can make things happen. Only action leads to performance. Once a decision is made, you cannot not act. Others may worry that “there are still some things we don’t know,” but this doesn’t seem to slow you. If the decision has been made to go across town, you know that the fastest way to get there is to go stoplight to stoplight. You are not going to sit around waiting until all the lights have turned green. Besides, in your view, action and thinking are not opposites. In fact, guided by your Activator theme, you believe that action is the best device for learning. You make a decision, you take action, you look at the result, and you learn. This learning informs your next action and your next. How can you grow if you have nothing to react to? Well, you believe you can’t. You must put yourself out there. You must take the next step. It is the only way to keep your thinking fresh and informed. The bottom line is this: You know you will be judged not by what you say, not by what you think, but by what you get done. This does not frighten you. It pleases you.
Responsibility
Your Responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalizations are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable. When assigning new responsibilities, people will look to you first because they know it will get done. When people come to you for help—and they soon will—you must be selective. Your willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead you to take on more than you should.
Pretty accurate, right?
You can sense the emotions of those around you. You can feel what they are feeling as though their feelings are your own. Intuitively, you are able to see the world through their eyes and share their perspective. You do not necessarily agree with each person’s perspective. You do not necessarily feel pity for each person’s predicament—this would be sympathy, not Empathy. You do not necessarily condone the choices each person makes, but you do understand. This instinctive ability to understand is powerful. You hear the unvoiced questions. You anticipate the need. Where others grapple for words, you seem to find the right words and the right tone. You help people find the right phrases to express their feelings—to themselves as well as to others. You help them give voice to their emotional life. For all these reasons other people are drawn to you.
Input
You are inquisitive. You collect things. You might collect information—words, facts, books, and quotations—or you might collect tangible objects such as butterflies, baseball cards, porcelain dolls, or sepia photographs. Whatever you collect, you collect it because it interests you. And yours is the kind of mind that finds so many things interesting. The world is exciting precisely because of its infinite variety and complexity. If you read a great deal, it is not necessarily to refine your theories but, rather, to add more information to your archives. If you like to travel, it is because each new location offers novel artifacts and facts. These can be acquired and then stored away. Why are they worth storing? At the time of storing it is often hard to say exactly when or why you might need them, but who knows when they might become useful? With all those possible uses in mind, you really don’t feel comfortable throwing anything away. So you keep acquiring and compiling and filing stuff away. It’s interesting. It keeps your mind fresh. And perhaps one day some of it will prove valuable.
Positivity
You are generous with praise, quick to smile, and always on the lookout for the positive in the situation. Some call you lighthearted. Others just wish that their glass were as full as yours seems to be. But either way, people want to be around you. Their world looks better around you because your enthusiasm is contagious. Lacking your energy and optimism, some find their world drab with repetition or, worse, heavy with pressure. You seem to find a way to lighten their spirit. You inject drama into every project. You celebrate every achievement. You find ways to make everything more exciting and more vital. Some cynics may reject your energy, but you are rarely dragged down. Your Positivity won’t allow it. Somehow you can’t quite escape your conviction that it is good to be alive, that work can be fun, and that no matter what the setbacks, one must never lose one’s sense of humor.
Activator
“When can we start?” This is a recurring question in your life. You are impatient for action. You may concede that analysis has its uses or that debate and discussion can occasionally yield some valuable insights, but deep down you know that only action is real. Only action can make things happen. Only action leads to performance. Once a decision is made, you cannot not act. Others may worry that “there are still some things we don’t know,” but this doesn’t seem to slow you. If the decision has been made to go across town, you know that the fastest way to get there is to go stoplight to stoplight. You are not going to sit around waiting until all the lights have turned green. Besides, in your view, action and thinking are not opposites. In fact, guided by your Activator theme, you believe that action is the best device for learning. You make a decision, you take action, you look at the result, and you learn. This learning informs your next action and your next. How can you grow if you have nothing to react to? Well, you believe you can’t. You must put yourself out there. You must take the next step. It is the only way to keep your thinking fresh and informed. The bottom line is this: You know you will be judged not by what you say, not by what you think, but by what you get done. This does not frighten you. It pleases you.
Responsibility
Your Responsibility theme forces you to take psychological ownership for anything you commit to, and whether large or small, you feel emotionally bound to follow it through to completion. Your good name depends on it. If for some reason you cannot deliver, you automatically start to look for ways to make it up to the other person. Apologies are not enough. Excuses and rationalizations are totally unacceptable. You will not quite be able to live with yourself until you have made restitution. This conscientiousness, this near obsession for doing things right, and your impeccable ethics, combine to create your reputation: utterly dependable. When assigning new responsibilities, people will look to you first because they know it will get done. When people come to you for help—and they soon will—you must be selective. Your willingness to volunteer may sometimes lead you to take on more than you should.
Pretty accurate, right?
Friday, August 10, 2012
Grateful
Have you ever had the feeling that'll you're hopes and dreams became totally and completely crushed? Live is just that way, and often times you don't see the reason for it until after you have cried a thousand tears. I have to. Be honest when I wasn't accepted to BYU, I was defistated. I have been wanting to go to the Y since I was born. I didn't understand I had good grades, lots of service and extra curriculars not only that but I was a perfect attendee seminary student. I was confused and sad, mostly I was hurt. I would see people how go/went to BYU wear immodest clothing while not on campus, or curse, or lie, even cheat and steal. Didn't I "deserve it more?"
However, I can not express the amount of gratitude I have for the BLESSING it has been to not attend my dream school. Isn't t curious how we think we want something so bad that we are completely blind to other options, and in actuality the other options are BEYOND better for us.
I GOT A SCHOLARSHIP! My dad's business has seen better days and it has emensily blessed my family to have a student government scholarship trust will help pay for school.
I have had the opportunist of a life time.- which is for a whole other blog.
I am going rot a small college which will help me with my learning disability.
I was able to go through vision therapy this summer to. Corrector my convergence disorder- again a whole other blog
And last and up-most important thing that I am grateful for is ...
If I would have gone to BYU it would have been for summer session. And you know what that means. I wouldn't have met people who love me, support me, care about me and protect me,
I have been able to attend institute. Where I not only learned about the infinite atonement but was able to meet some pretty amazing people. To name a few:
Sean D
Ryan T
Elder and sister Manhart
Sandy R
Nate B
Ryan A
Megan
Zack V
Trent
Todd
Mikela
Charlie
And rekindled friendship with Talana, Shelby and Kristen.
The rest of this blog will be dedicated to Sean!
I love Sean, I clove everything about him. In my humble opponion we are. "prefect for each other" I am so blessed to have him in my life. He became a best friend that will last forever. I am trully going to miss him. No one has ever been so kind, most of all he is a worthy priesthood holder and servant of the lord. Our time together was short but. I fell I know him like the back of my hand. He can practically read my mind.-cray cray He was there in my time of need and has taught me so much. I am greatful for his strength and his love. For his courage and his wisdom. I am gratful for hs faithfulness and his diligence to keep all of god commandment. I am grateful for his trust and I would trust him with life. As they say distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Love you!
However, I can not express the amount of gratitude I have for the BLESSING it has been to not attend my dream school. Isn't t curious how we think we want something so bad that we are completely blind to other options, and in actuality the other options are BEYOND better for us.
I GOT A SCHOLARSHIP! My dad's business has seen better days and it has emensily blessed my family to have a student government scholarship trust will help pay for school.
I have had the opportunist of a life time.- which is for a whole other blog.
I am going rot a small college which will help me with my learning disability.
I was able to go through vision therapy this summer to. Corrector my convergence disorder- again a whole other blog
And last and up-most important thing that I am grateful for is ...
If I would have gone to BYU it would have been for summer session. And you know what that means. I wouldn't have met people who love me, support me, care about me and protect me,
I have been able to attend institute. Where I not only learned about the infinite atonement but was able to meet some pretty amazing people. To name a few:
Sean D
Ryan T
Elder and sister Manhart
Sandy R
Nate B
Ryan A
Megan
Zack V
Trent
Todd
Mikela
Charlie
And rekindled friendship with Talana, Shelby and Kristen.
The rest of this blog will be dedicated to Sean!
I love Sean, I clove everything about him. In my humble opponion we are. "prefect for each other" I am so blessed to have him in my life. He became a best friend that will last forever. I am trully going to miss him. No one has ever been so kind, most of all he is a worthy priesthood holder and servant of the lord. Our time together was short but. I fell I know him like the back of my hand. He can practically read my mind.-cray cray He was there in my time of need and has taught me so much. I am greatful for his strength and his love. For his courage and his wisdom. I am gratful for hs faithfulness and his diligence to keep all of god commandment. I am grateful for his trust and I would trust him with life. As they say distance makes the heart grow fonder.
Love you!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Future Roommate 13
I hate hair. Which is kinda contradictory, considering that my
second major is cosmetology. But it’s not hair on head that bothers me, it's
hair on the floor, hair in the brush, hair in the tub etc. It’s gross… I makes
me squirm. So keep your hair to
yourself, or at least clean it up.
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Future Roommate 12
If you are going to be living with me there are somethings you should be aware of.
I love new things.
I love new things.
- foods
- styles
- adventures
- people
- experiences
- love
- clothes
- home
- life
- positions
- callings
- hope
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