Drum roll please:D(just saw this in my drafts, it was suppose to be published but never was.)

I guess I  haven't told blog world yet but..... I got my Personal Progress Award!

Aren't you proud? I sure am. It was a lot of hard work but i a so glad i did it!

For all those who are unaware of the the Personal Progress Program out there... A Personal Progress Award is an award given to young woman once they complete 6 mini projects ( taking up to an hour or a couple of months to finish) as well as complete atleast10 hour projects for EACH of the 8 sections or values. As well as attend sacrament meeting regularly, live with high standards keep a journal, attend seminary, read the Book of Mormon regularly, and have a testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ .

Now I have not received my medallion in the mail yet but is on the way. For the time being i am working on getting my honor bee which requires me to read the Book Of Mormon again, and serve others for a total of 40 hours.

I can only hope that I will continue to engage in such great virtues and become as President Erza Taft Benson has expressed.. "Give me a young woman who loves home and family, who reads and ponders the scriptures daily, who has a burning testimony of the Book of Mormon. Give me a young woman who faithfully attends her church meetings, who is a seminary graduate, who has earned her Young Womanhood Recognition Award and wears it with pride! Give me a young woman who is virtuous and who has maintained her personal purity, who will not settle for less than a temple marriage, and I will give you a young woman who will perform miracles for the Lord now and throughout eternity."

 I hope to conduct a recognition as soon as i receive it. And boy am I glad it's out of the way!!!

Saved drafts

As I am sitting here cleaning out my blog. Looking at all of the post that I have saved as drafts I realized that this blog has been my outlet. The only think that I can openly pour out my soul into. And although some of the things I have written and not published are just being deleted  I am glad I had some place to write my thoughts down and just get them off my mind. I am a compulsive writer, I write all the time. Most of the time it doesn't make since but it always makes me feel better. Writing down a to do list and organize it in my brain is calming, writing my emotions is relieving effect, and  writing for school work is "doing work".And in the case of my blog some of my emotions just needed to be expressed,and then thrown away for no one else to see. I wish I had saved a lot of my post on my blog as drafts I look back on them and see how naive I was. But on the other hand I am proud of what I have become. Besides, no one really reads my blog. (OK, like two people). . I am glad it's only two people. I don't want the whole world to see me at my weakest.But those two people who do read it  I know they will love me no matter what. 

Good bye old saved drafts- I am sorry you were never published. Maybe someday.

Good night world- or should I say two people who read my blog. 

No concrete

So as you all probably already know, but I will just say it for kicks and giggles. I didn't get into BYU. And as of right now I am scared out of my mind. Scared because I don't know what to do. I had all of these plans and now I am walking on unstable ground. No concrete.
          The night I read my rejection letter, I cried and didn't stop until about two days later. I cried because I wasn't good enough. My plans were shattered and the people I had made plans with were just going to go on and live there lives with out me. It was thrown a curve-ball that hit me right in the head.
           After realizing that crying wasn't making the acceptance letter slowly appear on my computer screen, I began to pray and fast. Although no answer is completely clear-and I don't expect it to be- I now know that BYU isn't where I am suppose to be. I don't know why, I just know.
            However, my grandfather-the one who works and USUE- thinks that I can get a full ride scholarship as an ambassador. Which would be great for me and my families financial situation right now. But it's scary, I don't know a single soul going there.
             I pray that the Lord will lead me to path which I am take. I pray that I be able to have a learning experience. And that I will be able to meet people just as cool Noj NawEcm.- I am sorry we can't go mountain climbing together at BYU.:(

College just around the conner

        I am afraid, until just recently i have been looking forward to graduating and leaving Florida. Then something unexpected happened. I became "attached." Now  I don't want to leave. Because when I leave, all of my life here will stop. I know that when I go to school, I know i will meet a lot of people I have new friends (excuse me while I go into a bratty rant) but i like my friends here,  i am comfortable with my environment. and everyone knows that trying to be friends with people that live 112901283940821378572573489721398479213847 miles away. And when long distance does work both parties have to work extra hard to keep up with both lives.I want to cry now and I haven't left yet. I know that when i finally do leave, I will cry for a cozillion days.